This past weekend, my friend Zelph showed me a quote from Margaret Thatcher that says "Power is like being a lady...if you have to tell people you are, you aren't"

There have been many times in my life where this quote has been true. I spent a majority of my high school years trying to be everything for everyone else and myself. I've spent college trying to convince myself and employers that I am intelligent and hard working, and I've spent too much of my life trying to convince men that I am worth their effort and time. 

I used to feel alone in these feelings, but in the last year I had two discoveries which have changed my self worth viewpoint. The first discovery was that many women often feel like this. And not just women who are my age. 

Some women desire attention, they crave acceptance within their social circles, they live to be the life of the party and the most exciting person. Some women want to prove their intelligence. They can tell you ten different ways to get to a location or solve any equation, they fight to be correct in every situation. Some women want to be "pretty," which in itself is an incredibly difficult task because each persons idea of beautiful is different.

Some women want money and fame. They want to be adored, followed, liked, seen. They want to be the exception to the rules. Some women want to be great moms. They kill themselves to gather the money to send their kids to all of the cool summer camps, or to put their kids in all the elite sports teams, or to just hope that they can convince other people that they are holding it all together. 

There are many more women that I could describe for you, but as of this moment, you may already identify with one, or certain aspects of many or the hypothetical women listed above. 

Proving yourself is a waste of time. 

Ladies, we do not have to prove ourselves. We are a special creation. We are of unique construction. 

We are a beautiful mix of deep, unending emotions and incredible strength. You are an irreplaceable addition, to your family, friend group, work and church community. Believe in yourself, find truth for the lies you identify in your thoughts, surround yourself with other women who support you. Realize that you are ALWAYS enough and NEVER too much. 

Once you realize this, you will transition to discovery two which is that you will never have to prove yourself again, if you know your true worth. 

Women who constantly try to convince others that they are confident/smart/pretty/successful/perfect only appear insecure in the end. A facade can only last so long because, it is just that, a facade. 

Know your true worth and you will not only radiate that characteristic you want to have, but you will also attract others who share that attribute. 

So ladies, do not push away your true qualities for sub par ones that you think others want. Be real, be you, be dainty AND daring all in one. 

Hello my loves and Happy Independence day!

On account of not having shot a business casual look in a while (since this post from April), I thought it would be good to bring in an outfit to inspire my new workers just entering the work field (unless you don't work at a business casual company, then swap the jeans for navy blue slacks or a skirt).

I know a few of you, as well as IRL friends have asked what my tips for a good work wear wardrobe would be and to be honest, it is incredibly simple:

1. Find yourself an appropriate top (i.e. no low fronts showing everything off, no stains or tears and no crop tops - if you wouldn't wear it to church, don't wear it to work).

2. As for accessories, many companies sell jewelry in pairs, either a necklace and bracelet or a necklace and earrings, so that can make it easier to know what jewelry looks good together. 

3. If you're allowed to wear jeans, absolutely NO HOLES. No one asked to see your knees and I don't know who thought tears on the butt in denim was a good look but it isn't for the streets and definitely not for work.

4. Finally, shoes. You all know that I love stylish/trendy pieces, but I value comfort in shoes over anything. For my job, I am constantly on my feet so I'm not going to wear heels for an 8 hour shift. Be smart about the weather, how strong your shoes need to be to withstand the wear and tear of your job and how comfortable they are, both on the back of the heel and in the arch of your foot. 

 5. Finally, the easiest color palette to pair up and mix and match are neutrals. Blues, whites/creams/tans, grays, and black shades are all easy to pair together. The only ones I would not recommend pairing are black and navy blue, but Ralph Lauren pulled it off so maybe you can too!